spiralstaircase

From Friday to Monday I was quite sick and got a chance to relax at home - I mean, um, recover from my illness. It was quite nice, I got to watch videos, do a puzzle (is that the right.. verb..??), and play the Sims. But now I'm at school. It's Tuesday now. Period 3, I'm in the library though because my Biology class is doing a dissection of a heart, and I'm feeling a bit nauseous right now so I'd rather not throw up all over it. My teacher gave me some work to do here. It's way nicer in here than back in my classroom... I wish it was always like this! I can only hear my typing, the music in my headphones, and a faint Spanish classroom teacher. There's a nice space here at the back of the library that's not so bright and open so I feel like I can focus better... Though I guess that's not working, cos I'm writing this. Well, I'll get back to work. Here's hoping I get sick again and get to miss another few days of school!

Today I had a strange experience. A reasonable reaction, but still quite strange nonetheless. I am not a stranger to overhearing horrible and bigoted things from my classmates. I've always been shocked by them and thought lesser of the people who said them. But today I heard something that made my body have like, a physical reaction. I think it's because it came from someone I mildly respected. I've been a bit questionable about him sometimes, because he's friends with an unhygenic, impolite, repulsive, arrogant, violent fascist but even in my suspicion I let it slide. But in recent times I've watched him transform into someone I didn't recognise. Maybe it's because I've only known him a year. But last year he was different. Today I heard him and his facho-friend yelling and chanting "Chega for life! Chega for life!!!", just completely abrupt and out of nowhere. Upon hearing this, I'm not sure what happened, but my stomach LITERALLY turned. I felt sick, like I was going to throw up. I had to sit down for a moment. I don't know. It's just scary hearing someone being so ecstatic about a fascist. To those unaware... because I know, in case anybody reads these, none of you are Portuguese, I'd assume. Chega is a portuguese far-right nationalist political party. They are fascists. They are racists. They got their motto from a dictator. They've got white supremacists, neo-Nazis, Salazar fans, etc.. They are all of those horrible things you can imagine. To think that someone as young as me is out here screaming about this group is just. Literally stomach-turning. I might be exaggerating. Because they're just high-schoolers. They can't vote yet. But their parents can. And their parents are rich. And conservative, imagining they get all of these ''CHEGA FOR LIFE!!11!!!!!1!!1!"s from their parents. It's best to imagine these kids as just stupid and brainless... which they are. So it's not too hard. But it is scary that there's a possibility of these people becoming rich and successful someday, because their parents are. I'm a bit afraid of the future. But luckily these idiots (I'm trying not to use that one word because though I can say it I know some don't like it..the R one) aren't in the majority in the vote. Portugal is a relatively left-wing country, I'd say... It's just edgy teenagers being edgy teenagers. Let's hope. Who cares about them, they're all Andrew Tate stans, so they'll probably end up having some sexual assault accusations come out like 30 years from now.

In recent times my obsession with weight loss has sparked up again. The last time I was this obsessed was 2022, around September-November. But this time I've finally gotten into Lose It and going to the gym. There's a really lovely gym around 30 minutes walk from my house.
I think I'm improving with the food side. Because I'm pretty sure that's the most important step in losing weight. I've been eating less and less and healthier, too. I know most people say you shouldn't eat little, but I know for a fact that that's what's going to get me to lose weight, because it already has. I've already got a little plan, too. For breakfast, weetabix with milk and a little honey... Around 50 calories. And for lunch I'll alternate between a smoked salmon sandwich (around 150 calories?) or some pineapple (around 40 calories). Yesterday I had pineapple, so I suppose today it'll be the sandwich. In case anybody out there is reading this, don't tell me "no! that's too little! you'll die!" I promise you, you won't have to worry. I weigh 70 kg and I'm around 166 cm tall. There's no need to worry, I won't starve.
Onto another point: I've finally got chewing gum again! Chewing gum and water are your best friends for when you wanna snack on something. Chewing gum in particular. 0 calories but it's not flavourless. I know it's depressing to be excited about gum, but I haven't had gum in a while, so I'd snack on something instead... I can't have cookies, it's too much calories! I'll just eat a banana. And some yogurt too. And an apple. And some breadsticks. And some cheese. And some ham. And then the cookies. Solution... Chew gum!!!!!! The only problem is that, if you're like me, you'll run out after like, a week. Or a day, if it's the longer, thin, rectangular gum wrapped in paper and inside a folding box.
I'm going to be much more optimistic. Of course I won't lose weight in a day. And sometimes you've got your highs and sometimes you've got your lows. But you can make up for the low by having an extra high day! For example, a couple weeks ago, my mom's friend got me a whole box of chocolates... Bad idea. I ran out pretty quick. So I made up for it. The next day, I walked to the gym and I was there for like, 1/2 hours? And then I walked back! It's easy. Also... Outside of the gym, I still walk a lot. Every day I have to walk around 2k steps to the train station, then during school I walk maybe 4-6k steps, depending on how much walking I do that day. On P.E. days I'll walk more steps than usual, I think. And today I'll probably have less steps cuz I had two classes in a row in the same room. It is what it is.
But I will be honest- and here comes the more serious part- It's really rough. Every day I feel like I don't make any progress. I feel like I've gained more weight, honestly. And the fact that everyone at my school is skinny and athletic doesn't make me feel any better. In my whole year there's, like, 2 other people who are, erm... you know, not skinny. But they do sports and stuff. So they don't get as made fun of. The most 'sport' I do is going to the gym. I'm not very athletic at all. I get a tiny bit winded walking up the stairs. But it's a process. I will never lose weight in a day. Never. I just have to keep this up. And I have to fight my temptations. Cut down on sugar. Everything in moderation... And, a bit of a more harmful one, but... "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels"... On that note, did you know that Kate Moss called me beautiful once? I was a baby, but still. Maybe that's a sign of something.

Christmas is, unfortunately, over, but that means that now it's time to share all the stuff I got. Cuz this year I got some very nice stuff... :) If anybody is reading this please don't take this as me bragging. I just think the stuff I got is cool so I wanna put it on here. This year was a very music-nerd-y Christmas, as I got a lot of cool music stuff. I'm so thankful for having parents that like the same music as me...
I got 4 band shirts, which was a surprise, cuz I thought I was only getting 3! I remember being on the phone with my dad and picking out the shirts I wanted from a website he sent me. I picked out a Daft Punk (Homework) shirt, a Kraftwerk (Computer World) shirt, and a Talking Heads (Remain in Light) shirt. But in addition to that, I also got a They Might be Giants shirt! I'm going to Ireland for the New Year so obviously I'm bringing all of them.
I also got 2 sets of 3 TMBG pins, which I'll have to find somewhere to put... I was thinking a jacket, but I'm always so scared they'll fall off... Maybe I'll put some on my bag, some on my school pencilcase, and maybe a few on a jacket. But I'll always keep my eyes on them. I do NOT want to lose them.
And finally, in the music realm, I also got a Talking Heads vinyl - specifically Little Creatures. I'm an alien to the vinyl world - I don't really get anything that goes on there. I'm not even if you can hold them by the .. Uh.. Disc-y part. The not-centre part. I'm too CD-brained. I'll have to search online about that stuff. (Also - my dad got a record player! that also plays CDs! My Daft Punk CDs will finally come to use...)
Another thing I'm really happy about is the Duck Ruffler plush I got. My dad ordered him in like, August or something, so I was a very nice and very patient little boy and waited happily for my Buck... And now he's finally here. He's actually right next to me, right now! I'd put a picture of him but that's too much of a hassle. Just know he's real cool. He's coming with me to Ireland. I also got some Sylvanian Families, specifically the Persian Cat family, which I'm also bringing with me to Ireland cuz I rebranded my old 'Garfield Travels' Instagram account (an IG account where I'd post pictures of a little Garfield pencil holder in the places I went to - I lost him in Thailand, unfortunately) to a 'Sylvanian Travels' account. Fingers crossed I don't lose them too! Also - I don't think I've ever mentioned anywhere online my love for Sylvanian Families... or, Calico Critters, if you're American. Or if you're WRONG. They're called SYLVANIAN FAMILIES, not "Calico Critters"... Uhm. Anyways. I have a whole little house filled with Sylvanian families and it's very cute. I'm obsessed with them. I've had them since I was, like, 3 years old.
Now the last stuff. I got a big ol book about Little Nemo. I'm not really sure why, I think it's cuz I mentioned to my dad that I'd like to get into comics and stuff. I'll read it someday. It seems very interesting! And the drawings are very cool. I also got a Pokemon Eeveelution poster, which I picked out myself while my brother was shopping for presents for our parents... It's cool. I haven't stuck it up yet, though. But I will! It's an awesome poster. Now the last one - a, like... I'm not sure what it's called. Like a newsboy hat. The one old men always wear. Old portuguese men. Pair it up with a dress shirt, sweater vest, and jacket, and I'll turn into a real old-portuguese-man.
It was a great Christmas, lots of food and presents and music and fun. And.. Church. I had to go to Church. But it was fine. It wasn't all that boring. Even though all I really got from that was that Jesus was born on Christmas day. And that, on Christmas day, Jesus was born. And the person who was born on Christmas day was Jesus.

I want to get around to updating my blog more often. So from now on I'll try to update it every Monday, so I can reflect on the past week... (6/11 - 12/11)

Last week was the ~8th week of school. There's only around 6 weeks until Christmas break... But this isn't about the present! That week was pretty uneventful... Only the weekends really matter. After school I usually spend on video games, drawing, or social media... Same as it ever was. Well, there was something.. I started eating at the school cafeteria, finally. Before that, I'd usually either skip lunch or go to this little cafe thing that also sells lunch. But most of my friends are at the cafeteria, and the school's cafe has a huuuuuge line that sucks. There's only one downside to the cafeteria: I discovered that I'm very slow at eating. I'll sit down first and eat my food, wait for my friends, my friends will come, finish their food, and I'm still eating.

Aside from the cafeteria: I've started coming to school on time more often! (Let's not talk about today... I got here 20 minutes late...) It's kind of funny, I know when I'm on time cuz sometimes I spot one of my teachers on the train. It's just a smidge awkward though... I usually try and find a way to sit as far away as possible from her.

On Thursday, I was sick. The nauseous and throw-up-y type of sick. I spent the whole day in bed and I only had Nestum for breakfast... it was great! My weekly screentime definitely went up, though. At least I got some sleep in the middle of that. At night, my entire body hurt + I was too tired to get up and shower, so I accidentally didn't... Luckily, I was, like, 1.5% sick the next day, so of course I faked sick and stayed at home. First thing I did was shower. I hate having oily hair. I still had to act like I was sick, though, (and I kind of was), but I got to draw a bit and stuff... So it was fun. I just really didnt' feel like going to school, you know? You get it. I did get some fresh air, though. I went on a walk with my dog! Even when I was sick! Yeah, I'm a real cool guy. Let's ignore the skipping school cuz my hair was gross thing. I'm very cool.

I'm gonna count Thursday and Friday as part of the weekend, cuz it sure felt like it. This weekend was a lonely one. My brother was going out with this friends for most of the weekend so I got to be at home and play video games, and I went on a walk with my dog again. I already forget what I had for lunch, but I remember when my brother came home, he brought his friends over, one spent the night over at our house, and the next day, I had forgotten about that. So you can imagine the fright I got when a guy I don't recognise says 'hi' to me as I'm making myself breakfast. Saturday night also brought me a lot of tears! For some strange reason, after watching cartoons for about an hour or so, I got struck by a wave of sadness! Mostly stuff about parents, childhood, whatever. But that was the past, I'm fine now. Then on the next day, on Sunday, I finally went somewhere different for lunch! Me and my brother went to one of those 'all you can eat' sushi places. 15 euros, plus some extra for drinks, and a bunch of sushi. Only downside is that you have to finish the food. So it kinda hurt! Then after that, it was home for me, and football for my brother. I got to watch some more cartoons and play more video games - I actually started playing Undertale again, which is fun. (Last night, Tuesday, I got to the Undyne date.) I've played that game around 70303285290481924935723 times so nothing was really new to me... But I like to pretend it's my first time playing.

That was the past week. It's already Wednesday as I'm writing this... Woah! Five days from now you'll be hearing about this week!
 

...Alright, well, I actually got back here like 3 days ago. But whatever!! I haven't been able to work on the website cuz school and everytime I get back home I'm super tired. Like, the two days of school I had this week I came back home and just. Fell asleep. But hey, at least I was able to walk my dog yesterday... And actually have lunch and dinner for the first time, LOL... I haven't been able to get my card yet for school so I can't buy lunch but it's ok, I don't really get hungry.
Today, a Saturday, I woke up to a sound I really love - rain. And it was a lot of rain, too! After a couple minutes of laying down in bed, I finally got up to maybe eat breakfast (if we had any at home)... Only to see a shitton of water flooding in through all the doors in my house. The next couple hours of my day was spent cleaning my house, both inside and outside. Thankfully it wasn't TOO hard, plus I was mostly just helping out with little tasks instead of the main stuff... LOL.
Well, aside from that: I'm gonna get on the good stuff! I can finally play games on my Switch again! And my SNES! And I can draw on my computer! I think I'm pretty good at looking on the bright side... Cuz about everything else totally sucks.. But, hey: Another positive! I'm talking to my friends at school again. For, like, 50% of the school year last year I just sat by myself in the library during lunch. It's only been two days, but... It's a start... And hey, the first year always sucks.
I'm still a bit tired from those like 2 whole days of travelling but I'm doing better now. My lips are still dry as hell from that last flight (AC blasting in my face for 7 hours straight) but they're getting... uh, less dry.

(Also, LOL, the song that was playing as I was writing the last half of this is kinda related, title-wise)