spiralstaircase

I was reminiscing on some old children's cartoons I used to watch back when I was very small... Things like Maisy, Postman Pat (or Carteiro Paulo as I know him), Chapi Chapo, Backyardigans, Pocoyo, Blues Clues, Bob the Builder (...Bob o Construtor), even to some extent Petit Ours Brun, but that was more my brother... Of course I also watched more recent shows like Phineas and Ferb or those Disney Channel sitcoms, but I was mainly thinking about the littler ones. The ones I'd watch when I was a younger child. It was such a lovely time...

I don't have a child or any younger family members I spend lots of time with but from what I see when I switch through the TV channels, I see that children's shows nowadays are much brighter and louder than what I used to watch... A lot of parents don't even watch TV with their kids anymore, instead opting for Youtube shorts and Tiktok and stuff like that. I don't know if it's just cuz it's new to me but I really don't think that's healthy. My mom told me that around the time she had my brother she was shocked, just like I was, at little kids watching TV, so maybe it's like that. But... I don't know. I don't think kids should be watching such bright, loud, short, overstimulating videos like those seen on social media. I don't think it's good for their brains. The childrens show I used to watch were all quite calm and quiet... Well, Backyardigans and Phineas and Ferb less so but that was also later on in my childhood. I'm thinking of Maisy and Postman Pat, those really young kids' shows. I was born too late for Mr Rogers but from what I've seen he was also a very great man... It's all slow-paced, gentle, educational...

One time my Youtube account got hacked by some very religious Christian Spanish-speaking father. I knew he was a father because when I 
saw my history I'd see a bunch of videos about Christian music in Spanish and then, maybe a bit hyperbolically, hundreds of Shorts about some very scary characters from that one video game that all the kids like now. And I remember once at a Benfica game, a football game, the kid in front of me was just the whole time glued to his phone watching those 'Skibidi Toilet' videos. I saw him click on a video, watch about 20 seconds of it, switch to another app, play a game for about 10 seconds, go click on another video, 5 seconds, another video, game... I almost couldn't focus on the match cuz I was so concerned for this kid. Maybe my parents thought the same thing when I'd play on my 3DS all the time. Or play Angry Birds all the time. But I dunno...  It's the thing about attention spans. That's what's scaring me most... It's a topic that interests me a lot. I've seen, so many times, such young children, sometimes even babies, sitting in their strollers and glued to their mom or dad's phone (who knows... maybe it's THEIR phone! I've seen it!) and scrolling endlessly, blank stare, the phone's just about a centimeter away from their poor little eyes. It's not the kid's fault at all.

I'm fine with the use of IPads as long as they've only got educational games installed on it; for a short period of time I even had my own little IPad type thing, I believe it was a different brand, but the tablet only had a few apps on it. All about drawing and colouring. If I ever used my dad's phone it was either something like Angry Birds, or I was drawing... There were times where I'd venture out into the wild of the Internet on my mom's computer and I found things I found disgusting. 3D animations of Rainbow Dash and Applejack making out... Rainbow Dash getting her wings chainsawed off... I remember, actually, when I ran to my mom about the Appledash kissing video thing, she recently told me that she actually felt a lot of relief when I reacted so terribly to it. I was crying and in so much fear. She said that it's good I was so scared of it, because that meant that the worst I'd seen on the Internet was 3D kissing animations... I guess she was right. I did see some horrible things but that was later on.

I know there's shows like Bluey that a lot of kids really like and that makes me very happy. I actually watched some Bluey episodes myself and they were very good. I hope more shows like this come out, and I hope that the kids watch them instead of their Youtube Kids videos... That platform is very unsafe. There's a whole Elsagate 2.0 going on... Anyways. Bluey is a very good show and I actually did cry while watching it once because it was so reminiscent of something I would've watched as a kid. Peppa Pig but better. If I was born in the 2020s I'd probably be the biggest Bluey fan ever. I don't know what my family members do with their kids but I hope they all put them on Bluey. There's even a Portuguese dub now. Come on, guys!!

It's Saturday, yesterday my dad came back from work, he has to go to another country for work. I'm very happy about he's come back, but yesterday we had to go our(is that the right word to use? Our or my?) grandma's house to say goodbye to my uncle who was also going back home. So we didn't get to do much. But it's alright, it was fun, kinda.

Yesterday though was quite cool! It's -woah Oh my GOD! It's alrady 17:35!!!!! Jesus Christ!!!! Wow, okay, I was oging to say today has been a fun day so far but NO, ttoday WAS a fun day, the day's basically almost over. Anyways, so today we went to the mall, we had lunch at H3 (the best fast food place in the galaxy!!!) and then grocery shopping. Then we went back home, and for the first time in Ever, we went to this awesome little record store right by our apartment. We got 5 different vinyls, 1 for me, 1 for my dad, and 3 for my brother. I got Kraftwerk's Electric Café, my dad got something idk by Dry Cleaning, and my brother got 2 Fontaines DC and 1 something else idk. I was going to get Daft Punk's Human After All but decided against it as I already have so much Daft Punk.. Then we went to another mall right by our house, and while my dad went to FNAC to go get another charger for my computer me and my brother went to go see the Lego store that just opened. It's quite small but it's got a lot of stuff, even a wall of lego bricks you can pick out and get a box of. I was thinking of getting a keychain but I've already got 2 (both of which lost an arm, by the way. R.I.P.) so I got one of those Lego minifigure blind box thingies.

I'm glad life's coming back to normal again. Last Saturday I spent my whole day sitting in my room- It's been a whole week since Eurovision, wow! I did watch that, I remember. Shortly after watching I was going to write about it here but I've already spoken so much about Eurovision it's getting a bit much. Joost Klein is the only important takeaway from that shitshow, I even started to learn Dutch on Duolingo because of him... Uhh, (really shitty pronunciation) Ik spreek een beetje Nederlands... Ummm... Je bent geen en appel, and stuff... ..Anyways. I have a 40-something day streak and I'm at #1 on the Emerald League..Not to flex, or anything, hehe.

As I'm writing this my dad's putting on some of the vinyls and the second one he's put is skipping like crazy!!!! The first one he put, the Dry Cleaning one, it worked like, perfectly. I don't know why this one's skipping so bad. Now he's cleaning it. Let's see if it works... He's wiping it off. It didn't work

Sorry for a whole load of inactivity over that past week. I had a school trip! Well, an optional one, one which took one week to do whatever I wanted to away from me, but, whatever. It seemed like a fun opportunity. My school had a ski trip! Yes, I do realise how braggy that sounds, and no, I don't want to sound braggy at all. But I will kinda be braggy, cuz I'm talking about it now. Whatever, it was cool, let me appreciate how cool it was! It went from the 24th to the 30th but we only had 5 days of skiing. We went to Italy. It was super fun, I got to develop a new *ski*ll, and make some friends from other years! All-around good experience! The first and last day were a bit tough though as I was super terrified on the first day and super tired on the last. Also, on the last day there was a lot of fog so I couldn't see anything. Naturally, I was too scared to do anything and stayed inside the cafe for the last 40 minutes of the day. Look, I was tired.

My biggest highlight though was the group of nerdy boys from the year below. I'd always seen them in the library during lunch but kinda shrugged them off as a group of kinda annoying band kids who I was kinda jealous of. I got to actually talk to them, and they were so nice! I felt really bad because I heard people from their year calling them weird and losers, probably cuz they're a group of boys that talk about anime and video games. But they've got good taste! I brought up Mob Psycho and Undertale in conversation and one of them told me I was 'goated'. Hey, that reminds me, one of them on a seperate occasion called me 'one of the nice year 10s', which made me feel really happy. I think my year might be a little bit well known for having a ton of assholes. Like, 95% assholes. So I'm happy that people from other years see me as one of the 'good ones'. It's corny to say but I'm glad me and my friends have that influence, I guess. I don't know, I just hate being grouped up with the other year 10s, so seeing that someone else sees me and my friends as, like, seperate from them, I guess, makes me feel good. Even though it's quite obvious we're not the same as them, politeness-wise.

In ski news though, I've gotten a lot better since that first day! I likely won't ski anytime soon again as I know it's quite expensive. The trip definitely was, which is why I didn't go last year, but this year my parents told me I had to go, and unbeknownst to me this year was actually the last year I could go (the trip is only for year 9 and 10, so my only other chance would be if I was a PE teacher or one of the teacher's sons!). At first I was a bit anxious cuz none of my friends were there and most of the people there were from year 9. The only other year 10s were these girls that give me weird looks when I walk past them. So I definitely felt a bit lonely... But as I mentioned before I got to know some y9s and they were real nice. I hope to speak to them again. Anyways, on the first day like I said I was terrified and could barely move. I was on a green slope, by the way, which was extremely flat. I was crying and frozen in fear cuz I thought I'd slip off and die, or something... But then I fell a couple times and I saw other people fall a couple times and I skiied down the slope and I saw it was all okay. Me and these two other people, one year 9 boy and one 6 year old girl, were seperated from the beginners cuz we sucked so bad, but then we made our way back to the main group and just like that I was skiing down blue and red slopes. I learnt how to turn and gained a lot of confidence in my skills, thanks to the lovely instructors who were so calm and helpful with me, even when I was crying and scared and repeatedly apologising for crying and being scared... Okay, but I wasn't so terrified all the way through, only the first half of the first day. So, for like, 2 hours I was terrified, then the other 2 hours I was fine! And then the next 4 days I was fine!

Outside of skiing, though, we also did a few activities... And by a few activities I mean, um, one. We did laser tag on the last day. My team lost repeatedly. We also had the opportunity to go to the spa but I don't think I'd make it out alive. You know, what with being, like, fat and surrounded by judgemental rich teens. It was for my own good that I didn't go. I got to chill out in my room and listen to music and that's all that matters! My roommates were a bit annoying, so I was glad to have a few hours to myself... I forget what day it was, if it was before or after the spa, but there was a day where the two of them were telling me I should grow my hair out and that I'd look soo good with makeup on, and then proceeded to put some makeup on my eyes. I was extraordinarily uncomfortable with the whole situation and on the brink of tears, but I didn't want to make things awkward, so I just tried to politely decline and say, you know, "I like my hair short, thanks," or "I'm not really that into makeup, haha", but they kept trying, so I just kinda gave up and accepted. Also, they kept talking about boys and crushes and stuff, and how one of them was so upset cuz she saw a girl talking to her crush, and I was just thinking, like, guys, we're here to ski. I'm here to ski. I don't really give a shit right now. But I didn't say any of that. Or, well, I did, but in a more polite way. I did try to join sometimes and talk about what kind of boys I like, but as soon as I realised my type is very different to theirs, I like, backed out a bit. I like the lanky awkward nerds with, like, 'medium length' hair and quiet personalities, and they like the kinda-sporty confident tanned surfer boys, and we'll respect our differences on that. It's fine.

But really, it was such a good trip, and I'm really grateful to have that opportunity. Meeting new people and getting into a sport! That's, like, I'm a whole different person. The real Rookie died and they replaced him with an extrovert. It was so awesome and so much fun and I even got some phone numbers in the end. And you bet I made sure to give a big hug and a thank you to my group's teacher.

I made an amazing discovery today! Well, it's not a DISCOVERY discovery cuz, well, it was out on the Internet for anyone to see. But still, it's a discovery to me. I found the lyrics to Shop Assistants songs! Unfortunately neither Spotify nor, like, any online songs-lyrics website have the  lyrics to these songs. But fortunately I found a PDF file which contains the CD cover stuff, which contains, the lrycis to the songs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Finally!!!!!!!!!!!

..I don't think I've ever said that in my life. Valentine's day isn't a thing we do a lot in Portugal. Well... I'll take this opportunity to say, uuhhh.. I love my friends and family and everyone in the world oh so much. You, the reader, are my valentine. Even if you're not reading, you're my valentine! Love ya.

Today I had a strange experience. A reasonable reaction, but still quite strange nonetheless. I am not a stranger to overhearing horrible and bigoted things from my classmates. I've always been shocked by them and thought lesser of the people who said them. But today I heard something that made my body have like, a physical reaction. I think it's because it came from someone I mildly respected. I've been a bit questionable about him sometimes, because he's friends with an unhygenic, impolite, repulsive, arrogant, violent fascist but even in my suspicion I let it slide. But in recent times I've watched him transform into someone I didn't recognise. Maybe it's because I've only known him a year. But last year he was different. Today I heard him and his facho-friend yelling and chanting "Chega for life! Chega for life!!!", just completely abrupt and out of nowhere. Upon hearing this, I'm not sure what happened, but my stomach LITERALLY turned. I felt sick, like I was going to throw up. I had to sit down for a moment. I don't know. It's just scary hearing someone being so ecstatic about a fascist. To those unaware... because I know, in case anybody reads these, none of you are Portuguese, I'd assume. Chega is a portuguese far-right nationalist political party. They are fascists. They are racists. They got their motto from a dictator. They've got white supremacists, neo-Nazis, Salazar fans, etc.. They are all of those horrible things you can imagine. To think that someone as young as me is out here screaming about this group is just. Literally stomach-turning. I might be exaggerating. Because they're just high-schoolers. They can't vote yet. But their parents can. And their parents are rich. And conservative, imagining they get all of these ''CHEGA FOR LIFE!!11!!!!!1!!1!"s from their parents. It's best to imagine these kids as just stupid and brainless... which they are. So it's not too hard. But it is scary that there's a possibility of these people becoming rich and successful someday, because their parents are. I'm a bit afraid of the future. But luckily these idiots (I'm trying not to use that one word because though I can say it I know some don't like it..the R one) aren't in the majority in the vote. Portugal is a relatively left-wing country, I'd say... It's just edgy teenagers being edgy teenagers. Let's hope. Who cares about them, they're all Andrew Tate stans, so they'll probably end up having some sexual assault accusations come out like 30 years from now.

In recent times my obsession with weight loss has sparked up again. The last time I was this obsessed was 2022, around September-November. But this time I've finally gotten into Lose It and going to the gym. There's a really lovely gym around 30 minutes walk from my house.
I think I'm improving with the food side. Because I'm pretty sure that's the most important step in losing weight. I've been eating less and less and healthier, too. I know most people say you shouldn't eat little, but I know for a fact that that's what's going to get me to lose weight, because it already has. I've already got a little plan, too. For breakfast, weetabix with milk and a little honey... Around 50 calories. And for lunch I'll alternate between a smoked salmon sandwich (around 150 calories?) or some pineapple (around 40 calories). Yesterday I had pineapple, so I suppose today it'll be the sandwich. In case anybody out there is reading this, don't tell me "no! that's too little! you'll die!" I promise you, you won't have to worry. I weigh 70 kg and I'm around 166 cm tall. There's no need to worry, I won't starve.
Onto another point: I've finally got chewing gum again! Chewing gum and water are your best friends for when you wanna snack on something. Chewing gum in particular. 0 calories but it's not flavourless. I know it's depressing to be excited about gum, but I haven't had gum in a while, so I'd snack on something instead... I can't have cookies, it's too much calories! I'll just eat a banana. And some yogurt too. And an apple. And some breadsticks. And some cheese. And some ham. And then the cookies. Solution... Chew gum!!!!!! The only problem is that, if you're like me, you'll run out after like, a week. Or a day, if it's the longer, thin, rectangular gum wrapped in paper and inside a folding box.
I'm going to be much more optimistic. Of course I won't lose weight in a day. And sometimes you've got your highs and sometimes you've got your lows. But you can make up for the low by having an extra high day! For example, a couple weeks ago, my mom's friend got me a whole box of chocolates... Bad idea. I ran out pretty quick. So I made up for it. The next day, I walked to the gym and I was there for like, 1/2 hours? And then I walked back! It's easy. Also... Outside of the gym, I still walk a lot. Every day I have to walk around 2k steps to the train station, then during school I walk maybe 4-6k steps, depending on how much walking I do that day. On P.E. days I'll walk more steps than usual, I think. And today I'll probably have less steps cuz I had two classes in a row in the same room. It is what it is.
But I will be honest- and here comes the more serious part- It's really rough. Every day I feel like I don't make any progress. I feel like I've gained more weight, honestly. And the fact that everyone at my school is skinny and athletic doesn't make me feel any better. In my whole year there's, like, 2 other people who are, erm... you know, not skinny. But they do sports and stuff. So they don't get as made fun of. The most 'sport' I do is going to the gym. I'm not very athletic at all. I get a tiny bit winded walking up the stairs. But it's a process. I will never lose weight in a day. Never. I just have to keep this up. And I have to fight my temptations. Cut down on sugar. Everything in moderation... And, a bit of a more harmful one, but... "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels"... On that note, did you know that Kate Moss called me beautiful once? I was a baby, but still. Maybe that's a sign of something.

Christmas is, unfortunately, over, but that means that now it's time to share all the stuff I got. Cuz this year I got some very nice stuff... :) If anybody is reading this please don't take this as me bragging. I just think the stuff I got is cool so I wanna put it on here. This year was a very music-nerd-y Christmas, as I got a lot of cool music stuff. I'm so thankful for having parents that like the same music as me...
I got 4 band shirts, which was a surprise, cuz I thought I was only getting 3! I remember being on the phone with my dad and picking out the shirts I wanted from a website he sent me. I picked out a Daft Punk (Homework) shirt, a Kraftwerk (Computer World) shirt, and a Talking Heads (Remain in Light) shirt. But in addition to that, I also got a They Might be Giants shirt! I'm going to Ireland for the New Year so obviously I'm bringing all of them.
I also got 2 sets of 3 TMBG pins, which I'll have to find somewhere to put... I was thinking a jacket, but I'm always so scared they'll fall off... Maybe I'll put some on my bag, some on my school pencilcase, and maybe a few on a jacket. But I'll always keep my eyes on them. I do NOT want to lose them.
And finally, in the music realm, I also got a Talking Heads vinyl - specifically Little Creatures. I'm an alien to the vinyl world - I don't really get anything that goes on there. I'm not even if you can hold them by the .. Uh.. Disc-y part. The not-centre part. I'm too CD-brained. I'll have to search online about that stuff. (Also - my dad got a record player! that also plays CDs! My Daft Punk CDs will finally come to use...)
Another thing I'm really happy about is the Duck Ruffler plush I got. My dad ordered him in like, August or something, so I was a very nice and very patient little boy and waited happily for my Buck... And now he's finally here. He's actually right next to me, right now! I'd put a picture of him but that's too much of a hassle. Just know he's real cool. He's coming with me to Ireland. I also got some Sylvanian Families, specifically the Persian Cat family, which I'm also bringing with me to Ireland cuz I rebranded my old 'Garfield Travels' Instagram account (an IG account where I'd post pictures of a little Garfield pencil holder in the places I went to - I lost him in Thailand, unfortunately) to a 'Sylvanian Travels' account. Fingers crossed I don't lose them too! Also - I don't think I've ever mentioned anywhere online my love for Sylvanian Families... or, Calico Critters, if you're American. Or if you're WRONG. They're called SYLVANIAN FAMILIES, not "Calico Critters"... Uhm. Anyways. I have a whole little house filled with Sylvanian families and it's very cute. I'm obsessed with them. I've had them since I was, like, 3 years old.
Now the last stuff. I got a big ol book about Little Nemo. I'm not really sure why, I think it's cuz I mentioned to my dad that I'd like to get into comics and stuff. I'll read it someday. It seems very interesting! And the drawings are very cool. I also got a Pokemon Eeveelution poster, which I picked out myself while my brother was shopping for presents for our parents... It's cool. I haven't stuck it up yet, though. But I will! It's an awesome poster. Now the last one - a, like... I'm not sure what it's called. Like a newsboy hat. The one old men always wear. Old portuguese men. Pair it up with a dress shirt, sweater vest, and jacket, and I'll turn into a real old-portuguese-man.
It was a great Christmas, lots of food and presents and music and fun. And.. Church. I had to go to Church. But it was fine. It wasn't all that boring. Even though all I really got from that was that Jesus was born on Christmas day. And that, on Christmas day, Jesus was born. And the person who was born on Christmas day was Jesus.

I want to get around to updating my blog more often. So from now on I'll try to update it every Monday, so I can reflect on the past week... (6/11 - 12/11)

Last week was the ~8th week of school. There's only around 6 weeks until Christmas break... But this isn't about the present! That week was pretty uneventful... Only the weekends really matter. After school I usually spend on video games, drawing, or social media... Same as it ever was. Well, there was something.. I started eating at the school cafeteria, finally. Before that, I'd usually either skip lunch or go to this little cafe thing that also sells lunch. But most of my friends are at the cafeteria, and the school's cafe has a huuuuuge line that sucks. There's only one downside to the cafeteria: I discovered that I'm very slow at eating. I'll sit down first and eat my food, wait for my friends, my friends will come, finish their food, and I'm still eating.

Aside from the cafeteria: I've started coming to school on time more often! (Let's not talk about today... I got here 20 minutes late...) It's kind of funny, I know when I'm on time cuz sometimes I spot one of my teachers on the train. It's just a smidge awkward though... I usually try and find a way to sit as far away as possible from her.

On Thursday, I was sick. The nauseous and throw-up-y type of sick. I spent the whole day in bed and I only had Nestum for breakfast... it was great! My weekly screentime definitely went up, though. At least I got some sleep in the middle of that. At night, my entire body hurt + I was too tired to get up and shower, so I accidentally didn't... Luckily, I was, like, 1.5% sick the next day, so of course I faked sick and stayed at home. First thing I did was shower. I hate having oily hair. I still had to act like I was sick, though, (and I kind of was), but I got to draw a bit and stuff... So it was fun. I just really didnt' feel like going to school, you know? You get it. I did get some fresh air, though. I went on a walk with my dog! Even when I was sick! Yeah, I'm a real cool guy. Let's ignore the skipping school cuz my hair was gross thing. I'm very cool.

I'm gonna count Thursday and Friday as part of the weekend, cuz it sure felt like it. This weekend was a lonely one. My brother was going out with this friends for most of the weekend so I got to be at home and play video games, and I went on a walk with my dog again. I already forget what I had for lunch, but I remember when my brother came home, he brought his friends over, one spent the night over at our house, and the next day, I had forgotten about that. So you can imagine the fright I got when a guy I don't recognise says 'hi' to me as I'm making myself breakfast. Saturday night also brought me a lot of tears! For some strange reason, after watching cartoons for about an hour or so, I got struck by a wave of sadness! Mostly stuff about parents, childhood, whatever. But that was the past, I'm fine now. Then on the next day, on Sunday, I finally went somewhere different for lunch! Me and my brother went to one of those 'all you can eat' sushi places. 15 euros, plus some extra for drinks, and a bunch of sushi. Only downside is that you have to finish the food. So it kinda hurt! Then after that, it was home for me, and football for my brother. I got to watch some more cartoons and play more video games - I actually started playing Undertale again, which is fun. (Last night, Tuesday, I got to the Undyne date.) I've played that game around 70303285290481924935723 times so nothing was really new to me... But I like to pretend it's my first time playing.

That was the past week. It's already Wednesday as I'm writing this... Woah! Five days from now you'll be hearing about this week!
 

...Alright, well, I actually got back here like 3 days ago. But whatever!! I haven't been able to work on the website cuz school and everytime I get back home I'm super tired. Like, the two days of school I had this week I came back home and just. Fell asleep. But hey, at least I was able to walk my dog yesterday... And actually have lunch and dinner for the first time, LOL... I haven't been able to get my card yet for school so I can't buy lunch but it's ok, I don't really get hungry.
Today, a Saturday, I woke up to a sound I really love - rain. And it was a lot of rain, too! After a couple minutes of laying down in bed, I finally got up to maybe eat breakfast (if we had any at home)... Only to see a shitton of water flooding in through all the doors in my house. The next couple hours of my day was spent cleaning my house, both inside and outside. Thankfully it wasn't TOO hard, plus I was mostly just helping out with little tasks instead of the main stuff... LOL.
Well, aside from that: I'm gonna get on the good stuff! I can finally play games on my Switch again! And my SNES! And I can draw on my computer! I think I'm pretty good at looking on the bright side... Cuz about everything else totally sucks.. But, hey: Another positive! I'm talking to my friends at school again. For, like, 50% of the school year last year I just sat by myself in the library during lunch. It's only been two days, but... It's a start... And hey, the first year always sucks.
I'm still a bit tired from those like 2 whole days of travelling but I'm doing better now. My lips are still dry as hell from that last flight (AC blasting in my face for 7 hours straight) but they're getting... uh, less dry.

(Also, LOL, the song that was playing as I was writing the last half of this is kinda related, title-wise)